People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
