I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
