I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
