The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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