the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Blow job season was short but glorious.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
