well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
