Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
No subtext here. People are naked.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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