didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
