I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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