She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
