So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
