One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Randomize
