he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
