nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
