You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
