I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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