There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
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