What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
