Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
