Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
