if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
