Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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