well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
