Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
