Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I could fuck to npr.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
