remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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