so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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