grandma shit on top of the toilet
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
