take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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