Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
