Where are you?
In a non slutty way
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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