so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
