Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
