I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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