He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
