you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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