she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
