fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
