I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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