you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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