We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize