he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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