you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
