I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
