This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
