I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
