It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
