So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
