just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
