We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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